


The Sound of Madness

by loveinadoorway



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Drinking, M/M, Overdose, Substance Abuse, h/c
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-23
Updated: 2011-06-01
Packaged: 2017-10-21 22:37:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/230611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveinadoorway/pseuds/loveinadoorway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-S1-finale madness.<br/>I’ve read a lot of prison/release fic, all beautifully written. I don’t even know why I feel the need to write any of my own, except, maybe because I think if Steve breaks, he will break in more ways than just one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. this whipping boy done wrong

**Title:** this whipping boy done wrong  
 **Paring:** Steve/Danny  
 **Genre:** hurt, angst  
 **Rating:** NC-17  
 **Word count:** 595  
 **Warnings:** dark and angsty. **  
Spoilers:** 1.24  
 **Disclaimers:** They’re all mine, of course, which is why I live in a castle in the clouds. Title and LJ cut text taken from Metallica’s The Unforgiven.  
 **Summary:** I’ve read a lot of prison fic, all beautifully written. I don’t even know why I feel the need to write any of my own, except, maybe because I think if Steve breaks, he will break in more ways than just one.

 

He lay on his cot, eyes closed. It was pretty much all he ever did.  
After the man had almost gotten killed in general population, they had put him in solitary. Or rather, locked him in an old, decrepit part of the prison which should have been renovated a long time ago. Budget cuts and lack of inmates actually had seen to it that it remained in all its run down glory, just as it had been built 40 years ago.

Granted, what had happened hadn’t been any of the man’s doing, but none of the guards felt particularly benevolent towards a lawman gone bad. So he got no privileges, no nothing.  
The guard shrugged, closed the little window in the door again and went on with his rounds.

Steve’s left hand hurt. Must be lining up to rain outside, he thought disinterestedly.  
Weird, though. He’d been sliced open with a makeshift prison knife and the thing that still gave him grief was the broken hand. 

He opened his eyes and looked at the offending member. The pinkie was crooked and there was a kink in the bones of the hand itself. In the world outside, a surgeon would probably have fixed it, but in here, they’d set the bones more or less straight, splinted the hand and that was that.

His arm looked wrong, too. Too thin and too pale. Didn’t matter. Nothing really mattered anymore. Other people seemed to slowly drift into this state, but Steve actually could put a precise timestamp on his descent into the void.

It had happened when Chin Ho Kelly told him that Danno had left for Jersey with Rachel.  
Everything had stopped then. He had lost it all in that moment.  
He’d lost his will to keep himself fit for when they’d get him out of here, his will to stay healthy, his will to stay sane. And he’d lost all hope that there would be a life waiting for him when he got out.

Now all he did was lay on his cot, eyes closed, dreaming of what he’d had before. What he’d THOUGHT he’d had before.  
Danny in the sunlight, Danny hugging Grace, Danny eating malasadas, Danny taking his stupid eternal tie off, Danny bucking and heaving under Steve’s touches at night.

And then, right when he’d grow hard with need, the dream world would erupt into chaos, just like his life had. And Danny would turn into this snarling thing, this beast that ripped Steve’s still beating heart right out of his chest.

His eyes would fly open and he’d be back in the other nightmare. The one devoid of feelings, devoid of joy, devoid of sunlight. And so he’d close his eyes again almost immediately and the cycle would begin again. 

He’d try to cling to the good part of his dream world for as long as he could. It worked better if he stuck to the PG-13 memories, but eventually, thinking about Danny would lead to wanting Danny, craving Danny and with that, the dream would once more turn.

Maybe he should be grateful for the badly set bones in his hand and finger. Right now, they were the only things in this reality that he could still feel. If he didn’t have that pain, he’d just drift off into his dream world forever, follow the dream down to its end, no matter how badly that would hurt. 

He just couldn’t for the life of him decide if that was a good thing or a bad. Or if it mattered at all.

 


	2. But now these days are gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   I was asked by [](http://blueslashicons.livejournal.com/profile)[**blueslashicons**](http://blueslashicons.livejournal.com/)  to do Danny’s pow (and more, possibly) on the entire world of issues that we were left with. The title had to be from Help by the Beatles, after I wrote that first sentence.

**Title:** But now these days are gone  
 **Paring:** Steve/Danny  
 **Genre:** slash, h/c  
 **Rating:** NC-17  
 **Word count:** 545  
 **Warnings:** none, except the hint at man love **  
Spoilers:** 1.24  
 **Disclaimers:** Right now, I ain’t even sure I want them.  
 **Summary:** I was asked by [](http://blueslashicons.livejournal.com/profile)[**blueslashicons**](http://blueslashicons.livejournal.com/)   to do Danny’s pow (and more, possibly) on the entire world of issues that we were left with. The title had to be from Help by the Beatles, after I wrote that first sentence.

 

Why had all of his confusion and doubts vanished in the haze the exact moment that fucking car door had slammed shut on McGarrett’s dazed, desperate words?  
Why had he been hanging on to things he deep down inside knew he had no right to hang on to in the first place?

Him and Rachel.  
Goddammit, that hadn’t worked the first time around and Pain Trek - The Next Generation shouldn’t have looked as appealing as it had. He still bore the scars to prove just how awesome they were together. NOT.

How could he have fucked things up so badly? How could he have gotten her pregnant on top of all the rest of the fuckeduppedness? How could he have tossed this in Steve’s face like he had? How could he NOT have reacted to the pain in the other man’s eyes that time in hospital?

All his life, Danny had clung to a couple of values.  
Not a great many, mind you. Especially since he became a cop, some of the things his parents had held dear had gone out of the window in no time flat. The job saw to that. Turning the other cheek just was not a viable option when faced with a bruiser on speed.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, however, had been among those things he had clung to with all his might. And Rachel, ex-wife or not, was most assuredly his neighbor’s wife, even if StepStan was the neighbor he’d gladly sacrifice to the God of the Volcano, if needs be.

In hindsight, it now was all crystal clear. So clear, in fact, that Danny wanted to crawl out of his skin out of sheer embarrassment and horror.

Because, you see, another of those good old fashioned New Jersey values was that guys had girls and girls had guys, preferably post-marriage. Jersey had its own version of don’t ask, don’t tell. Here, it was the neighbors that controlled what was acceptable and what just wasn’t. And there would be hell to pay if you broke the code, not only for you, but for all your friends and family.

And Danny, in knee-jerk reflex, had thrown himself in the arms of his ex-wife, as soon as it dawned on him what that freaky shit he was feeling for his partner REALLY meant. That sin at least was somehow… acceptable. The other wasn’t. Not if he didn’t want to see his family ostracized and God knows what else besides.

Danny groaned. He was sure he would never be forgiven for this. Not by the one person that REALLY mattered. He would live out his days in a hell of his own making, because he had been a coward. Because he had allowed the values of the blue rinse generation to confuse him to the point where he destroyed any chance at happiness he might have had.

All it took was one look from Steve.  
Just one.  
One look full of confusion and pain before Chin stuffed his partner into the patrol car and Danny knew with absolute certainty what he had denied the entire time.

He loved one Lieutenant Commander Steven J. McGarrett.  
Truly, madly, deeply, to the end of his breathing days and possibly even beyond.

 


	3. take a load for free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   I was asked by [](http://blueslashicons.livejournal.com/profile)[**blueslashicons**](http://blueslashicons.livejournal.com/)  to do Grace’s pow, as well as Danny’s on the entire world of issues that we were left with. So, this is a companion piece to this whipping boy done wrong and But now these days are gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never written from the POW of a kid before. I dunno if this is too baby-ish for Grace’s age or too grown up – hoping for lenience on your part.

**Title:** take a load for free  
 **Characters / Paring:** Grace, Steve/Danny  
 **Genre:** slash, h/c  
 **Rating:** PG-13  
 **Word count:** 510  
 **Warnings:** none, except heartbreak **  
Spoilers:** 1.24  
 **Disclaimers:** Mine, all mine, like all of SPN and Leverage and Firefly and Buffy and… *evil cackle* tomorrow night, we will do what we always do, Pinky!  
 **Summary:** I was asked by [](http://blueslashicons.livejournal.com/profile)[**blueslashicons**](http://blueslashicons.livejournal.com/)   to do Grace’s pow, as well as Danny’s on the entire world of issues that we were left with. So, this is a companion piece to this whipping boy done wrong and But now these days are gone.  
 **Author’s Note:** I have never written from the POW of a kid before. I dunno if this is too baby-ish for Grace’s age or too grown up – hoping for lenience on your part.   
  
And yeah, I get a lot of mileage out of that song. Always loved it, even more so since Rome last year…  


 

It was late and she was cold.  
Cuddling up to mom didn’t really help and there was all that noise the airplane made, too. It seemed a lot louder now that she was so tired and cold and grumpy, it almost hurt her ears. She cried, silently, hoping her mom wouldn’t notice.  
Danno hadn’t come.

Grace knew grownups didn’t always keep their promises, but the thing was, Danno always did. Unless something really, really, terribly wrong happened.  
So logically, something had and she was scared.  
Maybe something was wrong with Uncle Steve. Danno always said he had to make sure “that man” didn’t get himself killed.

Grace knew that he didn’t really mean it like that, because whenever Uncle Steve was around, Grace could see The Weight lift off Danno’s shoulders.

Danno had first explained about The Weight when Grace had asked about why he and mom were always fighting and why Danno looked so sad all the time.  
The Weight was something grownups were given to carry. Grace thought it must be like a big parcel of bad things, but she wasn’t sure if it was God who gave you The Weight to carry.

But she could always point out the exact second The Weight went away.  
It would be Uncle Steve smiling, or Uncle Steve hugging her or Uncle Steve doing goofy things to humor her. And when The Weight had lifted, things got really good. Danno would goof with Uncle Steve and they would do fun things. And Grace just loved the way laughing made Danno’s eyes go all crinkly.

When he was with mom, it wasn’t like this. She wasn’t sure how to say it, but somehow it was like when Grandpa Williams told stories from the brief time he had been a pitcher in the Major League. When Danno looked at mom, his eyes were faraway, like grandpa’s when he told her of his best game. With mom, it felt like Danno was remembering things so long ago that Grace couldn’t recall them at all.

Grace wanted to be back in Hawaii. She wanted to be on Uncle Steve’s lanai, playing poker with him and Danno. She wanted her dad to look like he did then, not like he had done recently whenever he was in the house with mom. Dad with here-eyes, not faraway-eyes.

She didn’t want to go back to Jersey, where there was no Kono to keep teaching her how to surf and no Chin with his badass motorcycle. It would be cold and damp in Jersey and there would be no Uncle Steve with his goofy grin and the way he always made her feel safe when he went all serious and looked her straight in the eye.

There would be no fun in the sun and no shaved ice. Nobody would complain loudly when there was pineapple on the pizza and Grace would have to be all quiet and girlie for the neighbors.

And there would be no Danno with the crinkly laugh-eyes, not even if he came after them.

 


	4. 100 words on redecorating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   Steve's home and it's neither sweet, nor.... homey. I'm stuck on the longer fic I'm working on, so this is actually something of a prologue. 

**Title:** 100 words on redecorating  
 **Paring:** Steve/Danny  
 **Genre:** slash, h/c  
 **Rating:** PG-13  
 **Word count:** 100  
 **Warnings:** none **  
**Spoilers: 1.24  
 **Disclaimers:** Yes, I'm currently taking care of all of Steve's ouchies and my cats are snuggling with Danny.  
 **Summary:** Steve's home and it's neither sweet, nor.... homey. I'm stuck on the longer fic I'm working on, so this is actually something of a prologue. 

He laid his life to ruin with the same orderly approach he’d used to build it. The axe was heavy, a solid weight in his hand as he hacked his life to pieces. No, the LIE he had taken for his life, the lie that had whispered false promises.

The lie that had claimed Danny loved him.

He should’ve known.If he’d kept his guard up, he’d still be whole. Not happy, but not unhappy either. But he had let Danny in and now his soul was a bleeding mess. More of a mess than his house was right now.


	5. wrote the book on pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   I’m trying very hard to get to the comfort part of things, but it’s going to get so much worse before it gets better. This time, I followed the song down…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know shit all about drug overdoses and withdrawal, so I didn’t go into detail there. Put in some research, but still didn’t feel qualified to give the subject more space.

** Title: ** wrote the book on pain  
 **Paring:** Steve/Danny  
 **Genre:** slash, h/c  
 **Rating:** R  
 **Word count:** 2720  
 **Warnings:** violence, substance abuse, overdose **  
Spoilers:** 1.24  
 **Disclaimers:** If I owned them, my heart wouldn’t be broken right now. Title and quotes are by Shinedown, The Sound of Madness. Awesome song. Made me immediately think of Steve.  
 **Summary:** I’m trying very hard to get to the comfort part of things, but it’s going to get so much worse before it gets better. This time, I followed the song down…  
 **Author’s note:** I know shit all about drug overdoses and withdrawal, so I didn’t go into detail there. Put in some research, but still didn’t feel qualified to give the subject more space.   


_  
Yeah, I get it, you're an outcast  
Always under attack, always coming in last  
Bringing up the past, no one owes you anything  
I think you need a shotgun blast, a kick in the ass  
So paranoid, watch your back   
_

_Oh my, here we go_

The first inkling Danny got that it wouldn’t be easy was when he tried the door and it was locked. Steve never locked his doors and given he’d just been released from prison, Danny would’ve thought he’d find the door wide open.  
He knocked. It took a long time until Steve opened. 

Second hint that this might get a lot harder than expected? Steve only opened the door enough so he could see who was outside. His arm, much too pale and way too thin, held the door firmly in place. A growled “what?” that smelled of booze didn’t exactly convey a sense of being welcome, either.

Third hint that things were going to be terribly hard to fix was the dead look in Steve’s eyes. Danny had braced himself for anger, disappointment, hurt, but what he got from those eyes was nothing. It was like looking into the night for too long, it made your eyes water trying to see SOMETHING.

„Can I come in, Steve? Please?“  
Danny hated how pleading his voice sounded. Or maybe what he hated was that after twenty seconds, Steve still hadn’t called him names, socked him in the jaw and hugged the everloving life out of him. Not necessarily in this order, but somehow that was the kind of scenario Danny had envisioned.

“Don’t see why you should,” was all Steve said, still with that black hole in his eyes that threatened to swallow the Williams universe whole.

“I need to talk to you. Can’t very well do that out here. There’s things I need to…”  
“Whatever it is, I’m not interested. Now get the hell gone,” Steve growled.

Fourth hint that everything was fucked up beyond repair was when Steve slammed the door shut in Danny’s face.

A wise man or a man with a shred of pride left to his name would’ve gotten the hell out of Dodge at that. As it was, Danny was neither wise nor would you have been able to wrap a used gum in what was left of his pride, so he just sat on one of the chairs on the lanai and started talking.

He talked until his throat was raw and the sun had long set with one of those sickening tropical spectacles in shades of orange.  
He told Steve everything, from his fear of being ostracized and losing his family and friends and everything else to his desperation at only realizing properly what exactly it was that he wanted when Chin had driven off in the patrol car with Steve.

He talked about growing up in Jersey with the neighborhood watch not being something that helped fight crime, but that made everyone toe the line where morals and sexual orientation was concerned. He spoke of having feelings for the quarterback in school and how that propelled Danny from girlfriend to girlfriend, right until he got Rachel pregnant and had to marry her. And that, again, out of fear. What would the neighbors say and what would they do to his folks if he didn’t…

Apologia pro vita sua.  
He was going to pieces – and not in easy installments.  
It wasn’t pretty. It was raw and painful to hear and embarrassing as fuck and Danny was damned if he cared. All he cared about was the man behind the door and he would do anything to get through to him.

In the end, he was sobbing.  
Crying for the godawful mess he had made of his life and for hurting Steve like he did. He begged forgiveness, like a mantra, with every second sentence he ground out. Danny poured his soul out to the wind and howled his pain to the moon and it felt like dying.

_  
Another loose cannon gone bi-polar  
Slipped down, couldn't get much lower  
Quicksand's got no sense of humor  
I'm still laughing like hell   
_

Steve had slid to the floor behind the door.  
Seeing Danny had felt like a punch in the gut. He groped blindly for the bottle he had put on the small table next to the door.  
He had given up on ever seeing the man again. Chin had been the one to pick him up from prison and he hadn’t even mentioned Danny. Steve had assumed Danny had already long gone, back to Jersey with Rachel.

He took a deep swig from the bottle. Not that it helped. The damned pills weren’t helping, either. They’d calmed him in prison, when everything had started to go completely to hell, but now they didn’t do shit. He swallowed a few more, uncaring.

And then the man outside had started talking and all the things he had said had cut through Steve like knives. He was shivering with the need to open the door, to grab Danny and to find some sort of arrangement… a way to be together, a way to wrench some happiness from the wreckage, but everything was so beyond fucked up now. He had nothing left to give and nothing left to demand.

He was crying silently. Great, heaving, soundless sobs that he could only stifle by biting down so hard on his hand he drew blood. He couldn’t do this again. Couldn’t let Danny back in like that. He had trusted Danny of all people not to screw him over, not to hurt him and betray him and leave him a big bleeding mess.

He was expecting nothing less from the world at large, but he had expected worlds more from Danny. He had trusted the man completely and look where that got him? When he had needed him Danny hadn’t been 100% with him. And he hadn’t said a word about going back to Jersey with Rachel, either.  
On top of it all, as if that wasn’t bad enough, Rachel was pregnant.

He had found out from Chin, the only time he had had a visitor in prison.  
After that, he had not cared anymore, had not avoided the other inmates, had gotten into that terrible fight. The other guy had sliced him up good and proper, three comrades holding Steve down. When they dropped him, thinking him finished, he had used what little fight he had left in him, leapt to his feet and he had killed the man with his bare hands.

In prison hospital, they had given him the pills and after they shoved him in his cell, all he had to do was complain about pain in his abdominal wound and he’d get more. The pills brought him calm, lulled him into daydreams that were so much better than anything he had left to look forward to. He knew what was happening to him, but he just didn’t give a fuck.

The male nurse who brought by his supply had seen right through him, of course, but Steve didn’t care about that anymore, either. When the nurse demanded sex to pay for his ever growing need for the pills, he just let the man do whatever.  
That, too, didn’t matter anymore, anyway.

_  
I'm so sick of this tombstone mentality  
If there's an afterlife then it'll set you free  
But I'm not gonna part the seas  
You're a self-fulfilling prophecy   
_

__  
Danny heard a slight noise and looked over to the door. It was slowly swinging open and Steve’s hand was limp on the ground in the opening.  
He rushed over.  
Steve’s eyes were closed and he was much too pale. When Danny said his name, Steve’s lips started moving. He mumbled “nothing matters anymore… cuz… cuz I l-lost my Danno…”

Danny took a shocked look around the room. The furniture was in ruins. A big axe was propped against the kitchen counter and you didn't have to be a detective to get the picture.   
It was only then that Danny noticed the pill bottle on the floor and the nearly empty quart of Jack leaning against Steve’s thigh. He looked at the label on the pills and swore soundly. Vicodin. What the fuck!

“Jesus Fucking Christ, Steve! How many did you take?”  
No answer.  
Danny started shaking Steve roughly.  
“How MANY, Steven?”  
“Dunno. Don’t matter.”  
“Yes it the fuck does!”

He didn’t know how he managed, but he somehow half dragged, half carried Steve to the bathroom. Shoving his fingers down his lover’s throat was not something he wanted to do again. Not ever. But it did the trick, Steve threw up and Danny counted eight nearly undissolved pills. No telling how many more there might have been.

He shook Steve again.  
“How many, Babe? How many pills did you take?”  
“They … weren’t helping,” Steve mumbled. 

At least it hadn’t been a suicide attempt, Danny thought.  
He didn’t know if he should call 911. He gently pried Steve’s eye open. The pupil was contracted almost to pinpoint size. Steve’s breathing was beginning to worry Danny as well. It became slower and slower, but as the individual breaths were still deep and regular, Danny thought he might be able to handle this.

He rummaged through Steve’s medicine cabinet and found a package of activated charcoal. He made Steve swallow almost the entire package with copious amounts of water and then started to make him walk. Bathroom, living room, lanai and back again. Repeat ad infinitum ad nauseam.  
When Steve started complaining in well-enunciated words, Danny decided it was enough and put Steve to bed.

_  
You think that by crying to me  
Looking so sorry that I'm gonna believe  
You've been infected by a social disease  
Well, then take your medicine   
_

__  
Withdrawal was hell.  
Steve hadn’t tried to argue with Danny, hadn’t denied he was hooked, in fact pretty much hadn’t said anything. When the withdrawal symptoms had set in, he had gritted his teeth and suffered in silence.

He had been sick more times than he could count.  
Somehow, that was worse than the pain and the shit that was happening inside his head. Spewing chunks repeatedly in front of Danny, throwing up until there was nothing left but green, bitter bile reduced him to a whimpering mess.

Danny hadn’t slept a wink in four nights and as many days. He had lied to Chin, lied to Kono, lied to the new governor and had just sat by Steve’s side the entire time. He had held the bucket when Steve was sick, wiped Steve’s brow with damp rags when he was sweating and he held Steve’s hand when his lover was sleeping.

Now Steve seemed better and Danny couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore. He was beyond exhausted. He more or less just keeled over on the bed and fell asleep.

Steve was listening to Danny’s heartbeat.  
He had put his head on Danny’s chest after arguing with himself for well over an hour. The steady beat was calming him and he tried to let it lull him to sleep, but the argument inside his head just went on and on.

Could he trust Danny?  
Or did that question even matter anymore? Apparently, his feelings didn’t really care if this was going to be permanent or just another brief episode where he had the chance to be happy before he would get broken again.

At the end of the day, there was no way he could send Danny away, unless Danny was leaving of his own accord. And Danny didn’t look like that was going to happen any time soon. So, did it really matter if he trusted Danny or not?

Dawn was filtering through the curtains when Danny awoke. Steve was sprawled over him, snoring softly, fingers of his left hand intertwined with Danny’s right. It was giving Danny a disproportionate amount of warm and fuzzy feelings. He had woken up like this every morning while Steve and he had been happy together, always marveling how someone as closed off as Steve was about his feelings, managed to convey them perfectly in his sleep.

Trust, that's what it had all boiled down to. And while Danny knew he had fucked that up royally, Steve at least in his sleep seemed to still trust him implicitly. He needed so badly to see that trust in Steve’s eyes again, but how to get there, he was clueless.  
His phone started vibrating on the nightstand. Rachel. Just what he needed now.  
He answered, whispering so as not to wake Steve up.

Steve woke up to Danny’s urgent whisper of “no, I can’t speak up, Steve’s asleep and I’ll be damned if I wake him now, Rachel!”  
Steve tried not to move.  
“No, I am not coming to Jersey and I am not going to be with you.”  
Steve could feel something inside of his chest shift.

“Rachel, you lied to me about the baby to get me to go with you. And even if you hadn’t done that, my place would have been here, with Steve. Whom I love more than life.”  
Wetness started to pool behind Steve’s eyelids.  
“That’s all I have to say to you now. if you want to stay in Jersey, I demand to have Gracie here in Hawaii for every single fucking school holiday and I won’ttake a no for an answer.”  
With that, Danny hung up.

Steve drew a shuddering breath. A teardrop made its way along a lash and from there landed on Danny’s naked chest.  
“Steve?”  
“Yeah,” Steve whispered, finding it hard to speak.  
“How long have you been awake?”  
“You… you are staying. With me. Even if… Gracie…?” He couldn’t continue, a strangled sob forced its way up from deep inside of him.  


“I’m never going to let you down again, Steve. I’m in this. For good.”  
Danny hit the speed dial button on his phone. He wasn’t going to back down, he wasn’t going to back out. And anyone not down with this be damned.  
“Mom? It’s me. There’s something I need to tell you.”

_  
I created the sound of madness, wrote the book on pain  
Somehow I'm still here to explain  
That the darkest hour never comes in the night  
You can sleep with a gun  
  
_   
_  
When you gonna wake up and fight for yourself?   
_

The rental car in the driveway meant his parents had arrived.  
Danny pulled up next to it. He hated his monkey suit with a fiery vengeance and today of all days his tie felt like it was trying to strangle him.  
Of course today would have to be the hottest day, like, EVER.

He rushed upstairs, taking two steps at a time, yelling “mom, dad” as he went. His mother’s voice answered him from the guest room.  
When his parents embraced him, a little of his tension eased away.

The rest left him as he walked up the path to the beach behind a beaming Grace. Walked towards tall dark and handsome, looking absolutely delectable in his suit. Walked towards a new life, a new happiness, one that he had almost lost.  
Steve’s face was serious, but calm as he watched Danny approach.

The new governor began the ceremony and Danny had a million things to say to Steve.  
There was no room for it in the ceremony. They had decided against reading their own vows - both having been to too many weddings to wish to embarrass themselves by pouring their hearts out to all and sundry.

But now, the words were threatening to explode his head.  
All those complex things that were Steve and Danny, all the good things, all the bad things. They were all zooming around inside his head and it had never been so hard to be silent before. He needed to tell Steve… he… needed Steve to tell him…

Danny swallowed convulsively. As he surreptitiously looked over to Steve, he noticed that his lover’s Adam’s apple was also working overtime. Strangely enough, it helped Danny relax. As it was, he wasn’t even sure if even one of all those words would even make it past his lips at this point, he was just too nervous. 

But then the governor popped the question and he took a deep breath.

“I do.”  
Those two words would have to be enough, those two words would have to say it all.

From the look on Steve’s face, it seemed that they had. _  
_

  
_  
_   



End file.
